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I’m a therapist specializing in trauma and I SWEAR I can see the planetary influences in my work. It’s not something that I bring into session unless requested, but within my mind and in my own viewpoint I definitely see it. I’ll warn you- this is gonna get weird because, well, I’m weird. But I kind of feel like if you’re buying Trina’s candles you’re into the beauty and wisdom of the weird. While I work in psychology I’m largely biologically based. I see the world from a lens that combines science, psychology, and mysticism. So- this may feel a little all over the place but stick with me and I promise I’ll bring it together for you.

I am about to take you on a journey through shadow to meet your inner self.

We’re in the preshadow of Mercury. It’s a full moon. Chiron and his opposite are balancing the masculine and feminine energies and wounds. We are entering into the age of Aquarius. The Schumann Resonance is showing that there’s an energetic purge. Forced shadow work. Universe says it’s time to heal. There’s a LOT going on.

What am I babbling on about? Rift and repair. Okay, let me back up and explain.

Mercury retrograde is feared. We all cower and panic. “Don’t sign contracts! Your ex is coming back, don’t answer the phone or email! Backup your files cause electronics are about to act up.” Well, yes. However, here’s the thing: retrograde of any kind is an opportunity for deep, rich healing. Old wounds rise up, old relationships resurface but it’s all for our greater good in the ultimate search for resolution. Revisiting endings is an opportunity to build new beginnings. Rather than fearing our shadow, we should mine it for the wisdom it holds.

It also happens to be the Leo full moon. I love full moons. They’re a time for intention, reflection, and release. This one happens to be rife with opportunities for creativity and childlike wonder. Leo energy is childlike: happy to shine and perform and receive attention, and unafraid to be extraordinary. Leo energy too is warm, golden, and soft like the lion’s mane.

Chiron, in case you don’t know, is where the wound is. It’s the big mamma jamma and is most likely the space you avoid most. Chiron is currently in Aries so it’s a good time to look within as this is the identity wound. The fear and difficulty of authenticity- an inability to be fully oneself. If that isn’t caused by old wounds I don’t know what is! That is THE theme of a fragmented self.

Where do I go with this? Immediately I look at the combination of the past coming back, the shadows coming out to heal, childlike energy, release, and the identity wound as a perfect time for inner child work!

I used to think inner child work was the weirdest concept. Speak to your younger self? What are you weirdos going on about?! Now that I’m a bit further in my career- and a whole lot weirderas a person, I’m seeing its power daily in my office. The majority of my clients need to grieve, but in order to grieve they must first be able to be self-compassionate, and in order to do that they must first forgive themselves. What is there to forgive? The times they didn’t protect themselves, the anger they hold for not speaking up and being their own advocates, the times they trusted and their judgement was off, and all the times they were too (insert reason here) to handle the situation. They also have to forgive the biggest wound of all- abandoning themselves when they needed comfort the most. It’s one thing to feel abandoned by others, it’s a MUCH deeper wound to feel the pain of self rejection. That is the ultimate abandonment wound. Forgiving all of this is a lofty task but not if you have a good guide.

I have a confession here: I cheat. While yes, I’m a woman of science, a scholar, and a therapist I am most notably an energy worker and a very powerful empath. I learned theory in school. My gifts come from spirit. I mention this to say that I have called myself a “shadow walker” for as long as I can remember. I do not consider myself a light worker, nor am I of the dark. More, imagine the hermit cloaked and with the lantern- the only light to guide, warm and golden, solitary and dim. I walk in the shadows. I hold people’s hands in the darkest of places and provide a modicum of light until they can locate their own. And this space, the shadowy space between dark and light, is where we encounter the fragments.

There is a concept in trauma work called fragmentation. You’re aware of it but you don’t know it. Its most extreme form is multiple personality disorder but it’s a normal part of wounding. The only difference between normal fragmentation and MPD is that with MPD they move fully into the fragment and are amnesic- they completely forget what happened. With normal fragmentation, you slip in but not fully, and you’re conscious and not amnesic.

Hard science calls it “arrested development.” You are often unaware of this but you are a collection of pieces and parts of yourself. Have you ever caught yourself saying things like “I can’t believe I acted so childish!,” “I feel like I did when X happened!,” “I lost control there?” Or maybe you have certain childlike mannerisms that come out under stress- rocking, seeking a specific comfort item, or rubbing your eyes and pushing your lip out when you cry. Say hi to your fragment- the wounded part of you that got stuck. He/She is speaking to you and you can avoid them but they’re gonna get LOUD until you listen!

And so, we circle back to rift and repair. That’s the concept of having a conflict and then making up. Many of us are just fine at the conflict. We’re not so well versed in the making up, which is the most critical part of the whole thing. A good repair will buffer the damage that a rift can cause. You are unaware that you are full of pieces and parts that are waiting for your attempt at repair. You are a walking collection of wounded children.

The next time you’re upset, I mean really upset, try to tune in and see how old you feel. I guaran-damn-tee it will be some past age. What if, and hear me out, instead of panicking and fearing that we’re going crazy, we just *gasp* listened to the wounded part of us that is screaming? That piercing pain in your heart? That feeling of tears behind your eyes? That urge to angrily scream at everyone around you? We call these somatic cues.Your fragment is speaking. Your fragments hold your pain-and they do so for your highest good. They’re friends, not enemies- to be approached with love, not fear. Instead of avoiding that feeling, move towards it. It’s telling you what you need.

A fragment is created when a feeling is ignored at a traumatic time. Traumatic memories are processed, or not processed, differently from normal uneventful memories. Information gets misplaced and the file loops looking for it. If the information gets processed the looping will stop. Those somatic body cues are the stuck information. Your body (and ultimately your fragment) is talking to you!

Now I don’t recommend full inner work without a good guide. You can come up against things that, without some experience and wisdom, you may not fully be able to manage. However, you can still soothe these wounded parts on your own. Notice, listen, and attend accordingly. The most beautiful part is you don’t have to wait until you’re triggered. And this is where Trina’s absolutely stunning golden Leo moon candles can come in handy!

A suggested ritual for this Leo full moon:

(But first, a warning. If you are prone to panic, dissociation, suicidal thoughts, or any extreme forms of psychological distress, discuss this with your therapist if you have one and make sure you have a safe person around in case you need them.)

Utilize the intentional energy of these candles to assist in calling up the fragments to say hello. Again, no deep work, but a greeting and conversation is certainly warranted. Consider where you’ve been in pain lately: Do you find yourself upset when you feel abandoned? Maybe you find yourself in physical and emotional pain when you feel you’ve failed?

Consider, then tune in. Think of the thing that causes the pain. Then, notice where your body hurts- not your mind. Focus on that and imagine yourself in your mind’s eye. You’ll notice you will naturally call up the fragment- you don’t decide what age it is. It’ll just show up. If more than one does, you can greet them all, or you can ask them to wait their turn. You’ll intuitively know what to do. When you see him/her resist the urge to tell them to fuck off because they’re causing you problems. Instead, greet them warmly and let them know you’re finally listening.

You’ll need to set boundaries around this so shit doesn’t get too real. You can set parameters like “I’m just here to talk. No film please.” Or “I don’t expect to resolve this today but I wanted to greet you and let you know that I hear you, and I’m working on our healing.”

You can take it from here. Trust yourself. I promise you know what you need.

This kind of intentional work requires bravery. Be brave and your reward under this Leo Wolf moon will be to have finally joined your pack. Your pack protects you and is always with you and, while you may have a tribe of soulmates, your pack is YOU. Every wounded piece and part works to love and protect the whole. Your pack is always there- unable to abandon you fully. And ultimately your pack will never, ever, steer you wrong.

I wish you safe and happy healing under all this powerful energy!

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